Please Don't Shut Me Out Again
by Bertie.Surf
Summary: Elsa received some shocking news after her parents passing, causing her to shut her sister out. Anna,after attempting to get her sister to live a little and let it go by inviting her to a party, looses it. Elsa has many secrets but there are 2 in particular that are causing her great pain. One is openly told, the other appears after a little too much alcohol... AU
1. Can't Control The Hurt

**Hey guys, this a modern fic. This just came to me, at 1am in the morning and I just had to write it. It's not going to be a long story, 3 chapters at most. Elsa is a lesbian and everyone is aware of this.**

**Hope you enjoy and please review : D**

Can't Control The Hurt

"Come on Elsa! It will be fun" the younger girl whined.

"Anna, I think at 24 I'm too old to go to university parties" The elder replied mater of factly.

"Ohh! Common. Pleeease! Don't be spoil sport" Anna continued in an exasperated tone, then a sly smirk appeared on her face "There'll be lots of _ladies_ there" She winked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"ANNA! I am not going and that is final!" Elsa replied angrily, slamming her fist onto her desk in frustration "Please. Just leave me be"

Anna looked sadly back at her "What the _hell_ is wrong with you? Why do you insist on shutting yourself away from the world?" By this point Anna had lost it, she was so angry the words were just flying out of her mouth uncontrollably before she could stop them. "Why can't you just _let it go_ for once in your life?! You may find that life can actually be _fun_, but instead you choose to bury your head in books, living in worlds that don't _actually_ exist!"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH" Elsa shouted back, outraged.

"YES! THATS BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET ME IN" Anna screamed back in anger "All I want is to spend time with _my sister_, but every time I try, you close the door in my face!" Tears were streaming down Anna's face "I have no idea what _**you've**_ been through! _**YOU**_ have no idea what _**I've**_ been through" She sneered "I'm sick of being shut out, we only have each other now Elsa. When our parent passed away I was left to pick up the pieces and plan their funeral, _alone, _whilst you shut yourself away in your bedroom. When I needed you most you weren't there." Anna's voice was breaking with every word that left her mouth, her eyes becoming red and puffy as tears continued to stream in rivers down her face, lips quivering, she finished "You're _**never**_ there for me" And with that she turned around and ran to her bedroom as fast as she could and slammed her door as hard as she could, causing nearby pictures that hung on the wall to fall to floor with a loud clatter.

Elsa's just stood there in complete shock, mouth hanging open. The word her sister said to her had really cut her deeply; she leant against the wall and allowed herself to slowly sink down the wall. Allowing the tears that threatened to spill, fall freely down her cheeks. Bringing her knees up tightly to her chest she cradled herself as her body shocks with forceful sobs. "Oh! Anna. I'm so sorry" she whispered to herself. She stayed like that for what seemed like hours, before lifting herself off the floor. _Get yourself together Elsa _she said to herself. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, god did she look a state. Her makeup had run, black streaks of mascara outlined the lines of where her tear had fallen, her eye shadow smeared over her eyes; making her look like she'd just arisen from the dead. _Holy shit, I look like death!_

Half an hour later, Elsa was freshly out of the shower having regained control over her raging emotions. She had just finished applying some fresh makeup and had tied her hair back into a braid that fell over her left shoulder. _Right! I better go and see how Anna is _nervously she stood up and made her way down the corridor to the younger girls' bedroom.


	2. Let It Go

**Hello! Thanks to everyone who has liked, followed and reviewed this story so far. I'm not sure what to think about this chapter, I'm not overly happy with it. I hope I managed to write well enough, and with enough structure that you understand what's happening.**

**Mistakes are all mine. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer – I do not own any of the characters mentioned, although I wish I did!**

**Chapter 2 – Let It Go**

She has been stood by Anna's door now for the past 10 minutes, trying to build up the courage to knock. Finally..

_Knock_

_Knock _

_Knock_

"Anna. I'm _so_ sorry please let me in" she pleaded

"Go away Elsa"

Elsa couldn't help but think Anna's was reversing the roles here, in an attempt to make her see how it felt. You know, to be shut out. In truth Elsa found that she did not like it, tears started to rise as she started to think about what she had put the poor girl through these past 5 years since their parents passed away. "Anna! Please let me in"

_Nothing_

"I'm _so_ sorry" she whispered against the cold wood of the door. She slid down the door and began to cry again, she could hear Anna's muffled sobs through the door. Her heart broke for the girl, so tried again. "Anna! please. Just open the damn door!"

The door swung open suddenly with force. "Why? Don't like being shut out _Elsa_" the younger sneered venomously. "Well now you know how it feels. Now, just fuck off; I don't want to look at you right now"

Just as Anna was about to slam the door, again, Elsa placed her hand on the door to stop it from closing and forced her way into Anna's room.

"Oh for heaven's sake Anna, calm down and stop being so childish. I'm trying here ok. This isn't easy for me either you know"

"E-xc-u-se M-e! You want me to _calm down_. _Right_. You're the one who started this in the first place, if you had controlled your temper this wouldn't have happened. And I'm not surprised this isn't easy for you Elsa, you basically void yourself of any human interaction _and_ I have no sympathy for you because _I_ have _tried_!"

"Yes! And if you had just left it I wouldn't of gotten angry" came an angry reply

Anna inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, in an attempt to calm herself down in order to have an adult conversation with her sister. "Look, please just tell me what's wrong! Maybe I can help"

"Fine! You want to know why I have kept myself away from the world and why I did not attend the funeral! Wait here. I need to go and fetch something"

Anna didn't wait, she followed Elsa into her study "Oh Elsa please enlighten me" she said sarcastically, throwing her hands up in the air as a sign of frustration.

Elsa was busily rummaging through her very well organised file.

"Ok. So the answer lies in your desk drawers does it?!" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. She then noticed that her sister was beginning to look rather upset. She had no idea why, this _must_ be big, Elsa _never_ cries.

_Those must be extremely important files_ Anna thought _why else would they be under lock and key?!_...

Elsa must have found what she was looking for as she had started making her way, slowly, over to where Anna was standing. "Here" her hands shaking as she passed the documents to Anna..

"What's this?"

"Read it. And you will find out" Elsa replied crossing her arms and holding them tightly to her body, watching the other girl read the document's handed to her. "I got them through the post after they died" She watched as the girls facial expression changed into one of shock, hurt and confusion, mouth falling open, gaping at the peace of paper she held in her hands.

Anna gasped, placing a hand in front of her mouth, as a fresh load of tears streamed down her face. She could not believe what she was reading. _Oh My God_. This could not be true, why would her parents hide something like this from her?

"Oh Elsa" She whispered, almost inaudibly "I'm _**so**_ sorry. Why didn't you tell me?!" She choked back the sobs as she looked up to look at the older girls face. She looked at the documents a second and a third time to make sure she wasn't misreading them and then dropped them, allowing them to float into a heap on the finely varnished wooden floor. She strode forward and captured the older girl in a fierce embrace, squeezing so tightly she was constricting the other girls lungs.

Elsa couldn't hold it in any longer, she finally did what her sister asked her to and _let it go_. Her entire body shook as violent sobs grasped her body, letting all the emotion that had built over the last 5 years go. Anna held onto her sister, if she could even call her that now, for dear life; whispering comforting things in her ear as they sank to the floor.

"It will be ok Els!" Anna said softly "You'll never mean anything less to me. You know that right. You'll always be my older sister and it doesn't matter that you're not by blood. I love you Els and I always will" she said passionately

"I love you too Anna. So so much" Elsa replied "I'm so sorry for what I have done to you, I would hate me if I was you. I promise no more closed doors and no more secrets"

"I'll drink to that" Anna replied, wiping the tears off Elsa's face with her thumbs

Elsa held back a whimper. Anna's touch sent shivers down her spine and she felt as though butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach. _You have to tell her now Elsa, you promised. No more secrets….Now's not the time, you'll ruin the moment!_ She tried to suppress the growing feelings and voices in her head, but she just couldn't resist letting her eyes trail down to Anna's pink lips; _they look so soft….Wait. Snap out of it Elsa!_ She snapped out of her daze, glancing down she was met with the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. Unconsciously her body started leaning towards the younger girl, who was oblivious to the current situation, too wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"I think we both need a drink" Anna laughed, bringing Elsa back to reality. She quickly retracted her body, her cheeks containing a hint of a small blush that was starting to appear. Anna made her way over to the cabinet that held all the wine; she selected an expensive Norwegian wine from a place called Arendelle.

_Few! That was close, I don't think she noticed. _"A drink!? That sounds wonderful. Now about that party!"

Anna whirled around, a smile plastered on her face "You'll come!?"

Elsa smiled "I wouldn't miss it for the world"

Anna squealed in delight, running over and embracing the other girl for the second time that evening. "This is going to be so much fun, I can't wait for you to meet everyone! I am going to get you sooo drunk!"

X-X

A few hours later…..

They had gotten through the entire bottle of wine and both girls were slightly tipsy, bordering on drunk. The past few hours had been spent exchanging stories of each other's experiences. Both already forgiven the other, keen to start a fresh. Anna was currently telling Elsa an embarrassing story featuring her, a random guy and a kiss. It had Elsa in hysterics, meanwhile Anna sat there huffing, repeatedly saying….

"It's not funny. Stop laughing"

Elsa stopped laughing, a serious expression appearing on her face, she cleared her throat "You're right, I'm sorry. It's not funny…..it's absolutely hilarious" she resumed her giggling; Anna's cross face only making her laugh even harder.

Anna sat crossed arms, huffing moodily.

"Oh! Common, was he really that bad?" Elsa raised a trimmed eyebrow

"You have no idea how horrendous my first experience at kissing was. I have never kissed another guy since" Anna's eyes widened, very aware of what she had just confessed "I – uh – mean – what – I meant was…Never mind, I'm just going to shut up now"

Elsa was just as shocked as the younger girl at this sudden revelation, maybe she did stand a chance.

"Anna" She placed a cool hand on the girls' cheek "It's alright. You should be able to tell me these things. I'm glad you did. Now we can both wear rainbow wristbands" She winked and laughed.

"_Elsa!" _Anna squeaked in a high pitched voice, eye widening "I'm not an official lesbian; I'm just bi-curious"

"Bi-curious" Elsa questioned, raising an eyebrow "What does that even mean"

"It's someone who is heterosexual, but has an attraction to members of the same sex" The redhead explained proudly. _Wow! I sounded so intelligent then_.

"Anna, have you ever actually kissed another girl?"

"Yes but that not all I have done, only once though" The redhead responded wiggling her eyebrows and winking "What about you?"

"I have slept with a few men and women." Elsa answered as if it wasn't a big deal.

If Anna's mouth could have opened any further, it surely would have reached the floor. She didn't think her sister was capable of such intimate acts, mainly due to the fact that she was very introverted and liked to keep herself to herself. Whereas, Anna was an extrovert but somehow seemed to have had less sexual encounters than her sister. Weird, right! She just sat the gaping, trying to form a coherent sentence or at least make some sort of vocalisation. But she was too flabbergasted.

"Anna close your mouth, before you attract the flies!"

"I'm sorry. I-It's just I wasn't expecting that because-well-you know you're not the most uh, um sociable of people, I-I j-just, Wow!" She finished breathlessly; she was, for once, at a loss for words.

Elsa simply shrugged "It's really not a big deal. They all meant nothing bar one; I was intoxicated for most of them anyway"

"Ooooo. So you liked someone. Who was she? Do I know her?"

"Yes. I did, we dated for 2 years actually."

Anna tried to hide her shocked expression by downing her glass of wine. This was a lot to take in; she really didn't know her sister at all. She was like a familiar stranger. "Wow, impressive. My longest relationship probably lasted 3 months…." _Pause_ "If you don't mind me asking….how did it end? And how come you never mentioned anything?"

Judging by the look on Anna's face Elsa could tell her sister was hurt by this; she did her best to explain. "I never told anyone because I knew it would be made into a big deal, plus my love life is nobody's business but mine. Also I wasn't sure what mum and dad would have thought, I don't think they would have liked the idea of their perfect little girl fucking another woman. You were fairly young at the time, I didn't want to corrupt your innocent mind. We ended it because she went off to work in America after graduation, she wanted a fresh start. I wasn't prepared to have a long distance relationship, it was a mutual thing. We remained in touch for a while but I broke off contact after they died."

"Well I can't say that I'm not hurt that you didn't tell me but considering everything I guess it makes sense. I mean we weren't exactly…..close. I hope that we can be as close as we were when we were little" She smiled "But the main thing is you've told me now right, you really meant it when you said no more secrets" She said, chuckling to herself.

Elsa hummed in response and smiled. They stared at each other for a while, gazing into each other blue eyes. That is until the cuckoo clock started chirping in the background, both snapped out of their staring as they turned to face the direction of the noise.

"Oh wow! Is that the time!" It was midnight "I have to be up in the morning, I'm meeting Kristoff for lunch" With that she stood up and held her hand out to help Elsa up off the floor.

They walked together to Anna's door.

"Goodnight Anna" Without fully thinking through her next action, she closed her eyes and slowly leant forward, placing an innocent kiss on her sister lips; just as they did when they were kids. Anna seeing her sister moving towards her with her eyes closed, widened her eye in shock, surprised at the gesture. When Elsa's lips meant hers, she instantly closed her eyes; fireworks exploded. Elsa's lips were soft. They tasted of the fine wine they had been drinking moments ago. Anna feeling confident off the wine, and slightly intoxicated with the feel of Elsa lips, leaned into the kiss, an innocent gesture on her part.

What started off as being an innocent kiss was very rapidly descending into something much more. Elsa, too drunk to listen to the voices of reason in her head, forcefully pushed Anna against her bedroom door, pushing one of her toned legs in between the redheads' in the process. Anna squeaked, opening her mouth in shock; Elsa, now very much acting on impulse, took the opportunity to push her tongue into the redhead's mouth, trying to supress the moan that escaped her lips as she did. Anna now recovered, brought her left hand up to Elsa neck, at the same time sliding the other hand down Elsa's slender figure until it reached the small of her back, pulling the girl closer; so they were flush up against one another. Feeling the heat build-up in her lower abdomen, she started rocking her hips, at the same time letting a soft moan pass through her lips "_Elsa_".

Suddenly the realisation hit Anna of what they were doing and she quickly broke the kiss, eyes widening in a mixture of shock and confusion. She opened her mouth to say something but all that escaped was an inaudible squeak. _Ohh dearr! What had she done? What had they done?_ She wasn't meant to like kissing her sister like that, that was totally weird. Sure they weren't related by blood but they had still grown up together and still classed each other as family. Therefore what they had just done was simply wrong, not wanting to acknowledge that she decided to simply blame it on the alcohol.

Elsa just stood there, breathing heavily. She too seemed to be processing what had just happened between them. Yes she liked Anna as in, liked liked. but she wasn't sure the other girl felt the same. Judging by the look on her face, which was one of utter shock and disbelief, she assumed the latter. In order to cover up her feeling she decided it was best not to make a big deal out of it and blame it on merely a case of having too much to drink. _Conceal it, Don't feel it, Don't let her know. _She knew she promised Anna no more secrets but this was something that she simply could not share, not just with Anna, but with anyone.

"I-uh-um well-I-T-that w-was Wow, I mean that was unexpected. I think we had slightly too much to drink" She paused, looking down at her feet to avoid the other woman's gaze, "I-I s-should-probably-goo now. You know, to bed. I have lunch with Kristoff tomorrow and you know how he gets when I'm late" She stuttered "Goodnight Elsa" blushing furiously she placed a kiss on the girls cheek and almost ran into her bedroom, closing the door abruptly behind her.

Elsa just stood there, how she could have let her desires get the better of her. She had wanted her younger sibling for some time so when Anna had kissed her back, albeit innocently, the seductress in her, powered by lust just took over. It was the side of her personality very few people have witnessed. She prayed Anna wasn't reading too much into it but she knew she probably was. _FUCK_ she inwardly screamed as she walked to back to her room.

Meanwhile in Anna's room….

_Oh! Man. What just happened, I have never been kissed like that before. I should not have enjoyed that as much as I did, _she thought to herself as the got undressed_. Damn _Her panties were soaked through, eyes widening she threw them into her laundry basket. She was seriously confused; she wasn't sure what just happened, when her sister kissed her she had naturally leaned into it. She hadn't meant for it to escalate as it did. This led her to suspect that Elsa was possibly hiding something from her, she didn't know what but she sure as hell going to find out! She needed advice and one person sprang to mind. Thank god she was seeing her best friend tomorrow. Maybe he could enlighten her; he was, after all, raised by love experts. Once she had sorted herself out she jumped into bed, it took a while for sleep to take her as her mind was swirling mess of emotions but eventually sleep overtook her.

**To be continued…..**

**X-X**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; it was a rather long one. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**I have an assignment due so the next updates on both my stories will take a while, sometime next week after Tuesday **

**Thanks again, Bertie**


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